cremations services in Elmira, NY

Lessons from Grief

One of the cremations services in Elmira, NY is grief support, including grief resources. Grieving after a loved one has died is a process that everyone who lives and loves will eventually have to go through. Although its initial onset is brutal, and although it changes with the passing of time, it never goes away, there are many lessons that we can learn that are embedded in grief.

One lesson is that life is short. That should help us make sure that we are living life to its fullest now. Too many times we get sucked into the belief that we will live forever (even though realistically we know that’s not true) and there will always be time later to do the things we intend to do, we want to do, or we ought to do. So we put things that, in the big scheme of things, are not all that important at the top of today’s to-do list while we postpone or neglect the things that matter.

If you get the promotion at work because you work 70 hours a week, but you haven’t spent time with your kids since God knows when, then it’s time to rearrange your priorities. Ellen Goodman, an award-winning journalist with The Boston Globe, wrote a poignant essay entitled “The Company Man.” Find it on the Internet and read it, because its sentiments are universal.

Grief can also teach us what is important in our lives. Grief makes us stop and reevaluate everything about our lives. That includes what we spend the most time on, we spend the most time with, and how we spend our time. You will find after you go through the grieving process that there will be things that you no longer want to do or have to do. You will also find that some of the people who were in your life are no longer there, either by their choice or by your choice. Additionally, you will find balance in what you spend time on, setting limits on the amount of time that things and people, other than loved ones, can take up.

Another lesson that we learn from grief is that we can go to the bottom of darkness and find a way out. Not only do we grieve the loss of a loved one, but we also experience, in grief, the death of our old selves. Grief changes us. We come out of grief a different person than we were before. But some people stay at the bottom of the darkness of grief, unable or unwilling to rebuild a new iteration of themselves. They get stuck. And, in the end, our choices are that stark: to stay stuck or to claw our way out to a new life.

A final lesson we learn from grief is our legacy becomes our primary motivator. Our legacies are what people remember us by and for. It’s what we leave behind when we die. Legacies are about, not just accomplishments and awards and success, but about character and integrity. Our legacies show how we treated other people. Our legacies show what was most important to us in our lives. Our legacies are what make a lasting impression on everyone that we’ve ever crossed paths with in our lifetime. That should always be uppermost in our minds as we go about our day-to-day lives, because that will be all that’s left when we take our final curtain call.

If you’d like information about grief resources and cremations services in Emira, NY, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.