cremations services in Owego, NY

Why the Grieving Process is Important

One of the cremations services in Owego, NY is grief support, including grief resources. The grieving process is important. When we lose someone we love to death, it can a shocking blow that makes us feel like our feet have suddenly been taken out from under us. We experience emotions of despair, sadness, disorientation, vulnerability, and even, sometimes, relief (because our loved one is no longer suffering).

These are normal emotions and feelings and the grieving process helps us to work through them and set our worlds back upright again, even though our lives will never be the same and the loss never goes away.

If we don’t allow ourselves to experience the grieving process, we miss out on important opportunities to learn, to grow, and to become more kind, gentler, more compassionate, and more empathetic people. We also just delay the process that will eventually have its day in another time in the future in an unhealthy way.

Although we associate loss and death with the grieving process, there are other losses in life that we experience that can cause us to grieve.

Disenfranchised losses have no graves, no community support, and no fellowship to mourn them. Because the people are still alive, whether they be friends or family members, nobody acknowledges the losses that have occurred.

Examples of disenfranchised losses include divorce, addiction, mental illness, family dysfunction, and life transitions like losing a job, home, or health, empty-nesting, and retirement.

Part of the grieving process is protective and that is often the first stage. We go numb emotionally and shut down. We know a loss has happened, but we can’t go there emotionally.

Yearning and searching is also part of the grieving process. This can weave in and out of the entire process, as we look back to the way things were – or we wish they were – before and we try to find that good part again in other people, things, or places.

The grieving process also includes despair, disruption, and anger. This too can come in and out of the grieving process. If we carry resentment with our anger, the grieving process can get a lot more complicated, and for some people who experience complicated grief, this can be where they get stuck.

Anger is often a manifestation of the underlying sorrow we feel for the loss. Anger is often easier to deal with because it’s definitive in its starting and ending points, while sadness can feel confusing and disorienting because there’s no door we opened to get in and there’s no door we can open to get out.

At some point in the grieving process, we reach a point where we can talk rationally, without getting dragged back down into the black hole of sorrow, about the loss. At this point, our emotions about the loss are easier to feel on some level, and we can find words to describe that and integrate that into who we are. This is the strengthening part of the grieving process because we know ourselves better and we are more self-aware than we were before the loss. That strength gives us the ability to accept the loss.

The last stage of the grieving process is the one in which we build anew after the loss. It doesn’t mean the loss has gone away or we’ve forgotten, but at some point, we realize we’re still breathing, so life still has to go forward as long as we are.

If you’d like information about cremations services in Owego, NY, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

funeral homes in Owego, NY

Funeral Music: Play What You Love

The music for funerals at funeral homes in Owego, NY is one of the most personalized choices we make for the funeral services of our loved ones – or even for ourselves, if we’re planning our own funeral services.

There are many songs, in every conceivable musical genre, that speak about death, loss, grief, and the hope for a better place and a better day. Any of those are excellent selections for a funeral service and many people go that route when they are choosing music for funeral service.

But some people don’t. There are songs in our lives and in the lives of our deceased loved ones that have nothing to do with death at all, but they carry the power of memories, love, and relationships. And those may be the songs we choose to play at our loved ones – or at our own – funerals.

A young Olathe, KS mother’s second child was stillborn. It was 1978. A group named Kansas had song on the charts at the same time. It was called “Dust in the Wind.” The grieving mother and father played that song as part of their daughter’s funeral service. When the mother died as a result of a medical emergency in December 2018, her four remaining children played the same song at her memorial service.

There was a daughter who took care of her mother for the last years of her life. The mother had congestive heart failure, vascular dementia, Lewy Body dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease. In spite of all these illnesses, she retained her love of music. So, the daughter played music in the house all the time. She knew her mother’s favorite music, which included bluegrass and country, and made sure that was prominent in the mix of sounds that filled their home.

A few months before her mother’s death, the daughter played a song that brought a smile and a twinkle in the eyes to her mother’s face. Knowing how much her mother loved to dance as well, the daughter asked her if she wanted to dance. The mother nodded yes. They danced, the daughter holding tightly to her mother so she wouldn’t fall.

Remembering that day, the daughter chose the same song, “Ashokan Farewell,” as the piece of music that was played at her mother’s funeral service. No one else but the daughter knew why that song was played, but it was comforting to the daughter.

A son watched his father grow old and frail. His father always told his son that he wasn’t afraid of death and he’d quote Hebrews 9:27, saying, “it is appointed unto men once to die.” When the son made arrangements for his father’s funeral service, he knew that there was only one appropriate song for his father. The rest of the mourners, including the immediate family, were a bit taken aback as they heard the urgent opening guitar riffs of the song the son had selected, but those who knew the father well appreciated the son’s nod to his father with Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”

For more ideas about funeral music at funeral homes in Owego, NY, our sympathetic and experienced staff at Roberts Funeral Home is available to help. You can come to our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

cremations services provided in Elmira, NY

An Example of a Great Obituary

Helping families write obituaries is among the cremations services provided in Elmira, NY. Some families, though, seem to have a knack for writing tributes to their loved ones that are amazing and give real insights into who these people were when they were alive.

An excellent example is the obituary that the children of Marie Bogus-Apichell wrote after her death (excerpts follow): “There’s a precise moment in the early mornings when the temperature reaches its coldest point and a ribbon of pastel pink clouds kiss the tops of the evergreens.

It is at that specific time when the cold Elysburg mornings coaxed our blue-eyed Polish Mom to rise and head to work.

She was the first one up every morning having her coffee, toast and jelly and the last one home. She was up and out the door by 6:30 a.m.; home by 4:30 p.m..

Born on March 1, 1925, in Coal Township to a large Catholic family, Marie Bogus-Apichell (nicknamed Binka) shared a large house on Spruce Street with six brothers and five sisters. A mining accident claimed the life of her father at a fairly early age and her mother passed away a few years later. These circumstances forced Marie to quit Coal Township High to take on household responsibilities and look after her younger brothers and sisters.

She subsequently married in her twenties and gave birth to four children. Raising the family in Elysburg, her children attended local Catholic schools. Employed as a seamstress at the Arrow Shirt factory, she provided for her family through enormous sacrifices to make mortgage payments on the Elysburg house, to keep food on the table and to give her children the opportunity to attend college.

Her culinary specialties included pigeons, pierogies, spaghetti and meatballs, and her three-layered, pudding-filled chocolate-frosted poppy seed cake that was absolutely out of this world. We couldn’t wait for that birthday cake.

As a frugal bargain hunter and die-hard shopper, she would never pay full price for anything or walk away from a bargain…

Marie was an avid reader of the Shamokin News-Item. On a daily basis, after coming home from work or church, she would sit in her favorite upholstered chair and read the entire paper. Anytime the neighbors wanted to know about a specific person or the latest news, they would just ask Marie. She knew the comings and goings on in all of Elysburg, Shamokin and Coal Township. She was disappointed every time inclement weather prevented the paper from being delivered…

Marie appreciated everything anyone would do for her…She taught us the value of honest work and the importance of saving money.

At the age of 92, on January 27, 2018, Marie passed away of old age-her tires were well-worn and she was ready to see her maker. She lived a long, simple, quiet and comfortable life in her little white house, breathing her final breath in her sleep.

Elysburg and her neighbors will never be the same without Marie. She truly was a beautiful person and loving mother. Even while confined to her wheelchair, she made efforts to socialize with her neighbors over a bowl of vanilla ice cream or a few brewskies or a backyard barbeque…

We are proud to have Marie as our mother who made us better and stronger human beings. We will never forget her loving ways. She truly was a best friend.”

If you’d like information about all the cremations services provided in Elmira, NY, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

funeral homes in Elmira, NY

End-of-Life Documents

Before funerals at funeral homes in Elmira, NY, there are several end-of-documents that we need to have in place so that our medical wishes are known, we have a medical advocate in place if we can’t advocate for ourselves, and we die the way we want to.

One end-of-life document that we need to have is a medical power of attorney. What this document does is to designate someone to make medical decisions for you if you are not able to make them yourself. The medical power of attorney may come into play if you have a medical emergency that leaves you unable to communicate, you have a tragic accident that leaves you unresponsive, or you develop dementia.

Choose someone you trust and make sure that they have all of your medical history, a current list of your medications, and any current health issues you are dealing with. You can create a medical power of attorney using software designed to create end-of-life documents or by using a printable medical power of attorney form online. As long as your medical power of attorney is signed and dated, it is a binding legal document.

In addition to a medical power of attorney, we all need living wills. No matter how young or old we are, time and chance happen to everyone. Living wills specify how we want to be treated medically if we are dying or in a medical situation from which there is no recovery (such as being brain dead, for example).

A living will gives you the ability to choose whether you want every possible measure exhausted to keep you alive in a situation where you are dying or from which there is no recovery or you don’t want any life-extending procedures, but you do want comfort care.

If we don’t have living wills done, then medical staff are obligated to exercise every option available to extend life, no matter if we’ve told our families we don’t want that. Some people believe that if they have a living will that specifies no life-extending measures be taken that medical personnel will not give them complete or adequate care. This is false.

Make sure that your medical power of attorney has a copy of your living will (your medical power of attorney should keep all these documents together and have them with them at all times – putting them in a folder in a backpack in the trunk of their car is a good way to ensure this). The living will is valid and legal as long as it is signed and dated.

If we do not want to be resuscitated or we don’t want to be intubated, we need to have a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order and a Do Not Intubate (DNI) order created. Our family primary care physicians can write these orders and simply by signing them, they are legal and valid.

A DNR order tells medical professionals that we don’t want any measures taken if our hearts stop beating. One reason many people get DNR orders is because if resuscitation takes place more than six minutes after the heart stops beating, brain damage has already started to occur because of the lack of oxygen to the brain.

A DNI order tells medical professionals that we don’t want any measures taken if we are in respiratory failure, which can occur as a result of lung injuries, severe pneumonia, or breathing conditions like COPD.

For more information on end-of-life documents at funeral homes in Elmira, NY, our sympathetic and experienced staff at Roberts Funeral Home is available to help. You can come to our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

Owego, NY cremations

Odd Wills and Strange Requests

After Owego, NY cremations, the family will gather to hear the deceased’s last will and testament (please have one, because otherwise it’ll likely be a free-for-all among your family, and it might not be pretty).

If the deceased created their own will using software or an online will generator, then the executor will read the will. If an attorney created the will for the deceased, then the attorney will read the will.

As long as a will is signed and dated, it is valid, even if it’s not witnessed or notarized. However, having a will witnessed and notarized will make it less likely and harder to be contested.

Most wills are expected distribution of assets and belongings. However, there are few that have become well-known for being anything but standard.

One of these wills is that of the late hotel mogul Leona Helmsley, also known as the Queen of Mean. When Helmsley died in 2007, her will left $12 million to her dog, Trouble, while it left two of her grandchildren absolutely nothing. Both grandchildren contested Helmsley’s will. A judge decided to reduce Trouble’s share of Helmsley’s fortune to $2 million and grant the two grandchildren $10 million each. However, $2 million allowed Trouble to live an opulent life until her death in 2011.

The illusionist Harry Houdini was as mystical in death as he was in life. He died on October 31, 1926. In his will, he instructed his wife, Bess, to conduct a séance every year on the anniversary of his death so that they could communicate from beyond the grave. Bess was supposed to read, “Rosabelle, answer, tell, pray, answer, look, tell, answer, answer, tell” to get in touch with Houdini. Bess did this for ten years with no response, after which she quit trying. However, Houdini admirers like the tradition and continue it today on every Halloween.

German writer Heinrich Heine got the last word in what must have been quite a contentious relationship with his wife, Matilda. His will specified that the only way that Matilda could inherit his entire estate was if she remarried. The reason? According to Heine, “there will be at least one man to regret my death.”

English philosopher Jeremy Bentham left a most unusual request in his will. He instructed a friend who was a physician to preserve his head and skeleton, dress the remains in a suit, seat them in a chair with his cane, and display them in a case on the campus of University College London. He’s been there since 1932, although a wax head now sits atop the skeleton because the natural head decayed.

Sandra West, an oil heiress, died unexpectedly in 1977 when she was 37 years old. Her request for burial was unusual. She wanted to be dressed in a white nightgown and buried in the front seat of her 1964 powder blue Ferrari 250GT. She requested that the seat be laid back to a comfortable position. The car was then boxed up and lowered into a grave at the historic Alamo Masonic Cemetery in San Antonio. To thwart the threat of looting, the grave was covered with cement.

If you’d like information about Owego, NY cremations, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

cremations in West Elmira, NY

Ideas for Using Cremation Remains

Remains from cremations in West Elmira, NY are given to the family to do what they wish with them. There are many creative ways to use cremation remains – known as cremains – to remember a loved one in a way that suits your family, and your loved one’s wishes, best.

One way to use cremains is to scatter them in a special place. That may be your loved one’s favorite place in the whole wide world, or it may be in a place that had special meaning for them or for your family. If you plan to scatter the ashes on private land that you don’t own, it’s important to get permission from the property owner before scattering them. Some national parks will allow cremains to be scattered, but you’ll need to make sure you get the proper authorization first.

Another way to use cremains is to have them transformed into keepsake jewelry. From pendants to rings to bracelets, there are many designs that you can choose from. A small amount of the cremains will be stored inside the jewelry, allowing you to keep your loved one close by all the time.

A really unique way to use cremains is to have them integrated with explosive materials to create fireworks. There are several companies that specifically create fireworks using cremains, and then they will produce a fireworks show for family and friends to see their loved one light up the darkness of night.

Cremains are often included as artist’s material. Two examples are mixing them with tattoo ink and with oil or acrylic paints.

Some people want memorial tattoos of their loved one after death. Often these will be an elaborate design with the name, date of birth and date of death, or they will be an image, inked from a photo, of the deceased loved one. Some tattoo artists will mix some of the cremains with the inks they will use to create the memorial tattoo, allowing you to have your loved one as a permanently-etched part of you.

If your loved one was an artist or loved art, then using some of their cremains to create a painting is a great way to pay tribute to them. Professional painters will mix the cremains with either oil-based or acrylic paint and create the painting you desire from those paints. You may want a portrait of your loved one or you may want a painting of a place or something that they loved, like a family cabin or cottage, or a flower garden, the ocean, or a forest.

Two of the neatest ideas for using cremains are using them to create ocean reefs and using them to grow a plant or a tree.

There are companies that will take some of your loved one’s cremains and create reefs from them. Coral reefs are endangered throughout the world, so these new reefs give a favorable habitat for marine life to thrive.

The seed of a plant or tree can be planted in biodegradable urns, which have soil that is mixed with your loved one’s cremains. The cremains have nutrients that can enrich the soil and promote growth of a new living thing. The plant or tree is a lasting tribute to your loved one that can be used as a gathering place for family and friends on significant anniversaries.

For more ideas on using cremains from cremations in West Elmira, NY, our sympathetic and experienced staff at Roberts Funeral Home is available to help. You can come to our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

Waverly, NY cremations

Coping with Regrets after Death

Regrets are common after Waverly, NY cremations. They seem to be an inevitable part of the grieving process, especially when the reality of death sets in and we’re all alone with our thoughts, rehashing the details of our lives with the loved ones we’ve lost.

Regrets are not necessarily a bad thing, although if we eventually get stuck on them, they can make grief much more intense for much longer than it should be. Regrets are often the product of paying attention, which is something we don’t always do when someone is still alive. Regrets can also be wishing that an event or an incident with our loved had turned out differently than it did and, if we’d been doing something differently, it might have.

One of the benefits of regrets is growth. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know until it’s too late, at least for our loved one who has died. But we can learn from those kinds of regrets and make changes in our lives to make sure they never repeat themselves.

Another benefit of regrets is wisdom. Until we are in the situation where we can look at our lives, both in relationship to our deceased loved one and in relationship to everyone else, with integrity and honesty to see where we fall short, whether that’s in selfishness, obliviousness, impatience, unkindness, or harshness, among many other things, we don’t gain wisdom.

Regrets, like death, should change us for the better, and make us more wise and more humble, as we see our own reflection clearly in them.

Some regrets are about things we couldn’t have done any differently or that wouldn’t have turned out any differently, but we wish that we could have or that they had. Perhaps we were caring for an elderly parent, vigilantly watching them, and they fell anyway because they were just beyond our reach. They may have broken bones, suffered from head trauma, or got really banged up and bruised. Those kinds of scenes can replay over and over in slow motion, bringing pain and agony to us as well as regret, but we couldn’t have done anything differently at the time.

Those are the kind of regrets that we can get stuck in and they can prolong intense grief, because we want to change the outcome. And those are the kind of regrets that we have to put to rest and say, “I did the best I could. It may not have always been good enough, but it was the best I could do at the time.”

Some regrets are for missed opportunities with our loved ones. We may have been talking for years about a trip we were going to take or an adventure that we wanted to do with our loved ones, but we never got around to them before they died.

And some regrets are for issues and problems between us and our loved ones that were never resolved while they were alive. These can be very difficult to cope with, because there may also be guilt associated with the regrets, but like all other regrets, we can’t change the past. All we can do is move forward, and professional help may be needed for that to happen, and know that somewhere in the future everything will be made right.

If you’d like information about grief resources after Waverly, NY cremations, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

funeral homes in West Elmira, NY

Military Veteran Funeral Benefits

When planning funerals at funeral homes in West Elmira, NY, if the deceased was an honorably-discharged military veteran, they are eligible for funeral benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). The funeral home will coordinate with the VA for all arrangements. A copy of the military veteran’s separation papers – Form DD-214 – should be provided to the funeral director (do not give anybody the original form).

One of the military veteran benefits available is free burial in any national cemetery where space is available. This includes a gravesite, opening and closing of the grave, a gravestone or grave marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate. National cemeteries are maintained by the United States government, so perpetual care of the gravesite is included in this burial benefit.

Spouses and dependents are also eligible for free burial with military veterans in a national cemetery. The names and dates of birth and death of the spouses and dependents will be added to the veterans’ headstones. If a spouse or dependent of an eligible military veteran dies before the veteran, they are still eligible for burial at no charge.

Gravesites in a national cemetery cannot be reserved ahead of time, but the VA will, upon request, determine eligibility for burial in a VA cemetery before the need arises.

For eligible military veterans who want to be buried in a private cemetery, free burial benefits include a gravestone or grave marker, a burial flag, and a Presidential Memorial Certificate. Some military veterans may also be eligible for burial allowances, but the family will have to apply for that on their own. Spouses and dependents of military veterans are not eligible for any burial benefits in a private cemetery.

If an eligible military veteran is buried in an unmarked grave in any cemetery around the globe, the VA, upon request, will provide a gravestone at no cost to the family, regardless of the date of the veteran’s death. For graves of eligible military veterans who died on or after November 1, 1990 that have a privately-purchased gravestone, the VA will provide a government gravestone as well. The VA will provide a government medallion for the privately-purchased gravestones of eligible military veterans who died on or after April 6, 1917.

Grave markers are flat and can be bronze, marble, or granite. Gravestones are upright and can be granite or marble. If the military veteran has been cremated and is stored in a columbarium, bronze niche markers can be provided for the niche where the remains are stored.

When burial is at a national cemetery, state veteran’s cemetery, or military base or post cemetery, the cemetery will order the gravestone or grave marker with the information provided by the family to the funeral home. Spouses and dependents of eligible military veterans are provided with a gravestone or grave marker only if they are buried at a national cemetery, a state veteran’s cemetery, or a military post or base cemetery.

While there is no cost for a government gravestone or grave marker to eligible military veterans who are buried in private cemeteries, the family is responsible for having it placed on the grave.

To get more information about military funeral benefits at funeral homes in West Elmira, NY, our sympathetic and experienced staff at Roberts Funeral Home is available to help. You can come to our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

cremations in Waverly, NY

Emotional Overeating after Death

Before and after cremations in Waverly, NY, the relationship between bereaved people and food can become quite complicated. Death creates a lot of anxiety and stress, and grief taxes us emotionally, mentally, and physically. When people are under these conditions in life, they generally respond to food in one of two ways.

Some people can’t eat at all when they are stressed and anxious. They simply stop eating and they are not hungry. Other people, however, go to the opposite end of the spectrum when they are experiencing extreme emotional upheaval and they compulsively eat, whether they are hungry or not.

Emotional overeating is common among people who, under normal circumstances, try to eat healthy diets, exercise regularly, and maintain other good health habit, but who, emotionally, throw all of that out the window in times of intense stress.

Part of this tendency to overeat when stressed comes from the dopamine high that eating comforting foods – which are usually full of fat, full of sugar, and full of carbohydrates – can provide. So if a scoop of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream hits the spot and temporarily takes the edge off of grief, then the brain says, “Imagine how much better I will feel if I eat the whole container!”

That’s how overeating works. It’s a stress reducer and it numbs the pain and other emotions temporarily, but it can also, if done long-term, create more issues than the temporary salve it’s putting on intense grief.

One issue that may come from extended overeating to assuage emotional trauma after the death of a loved one is unwanted weight gain and the creation of health issues, such as cardiac problems, high blood pressure, and Type 2 diabetes, related to the weight gain.

Another issue that arises from habitual and long-term overeating is that shame, and guilt suddenly join grief and anxiety to create even more stress, which can drive the overeating engine into a vicious cycle that is difficult to break.

Extending overeating may also produce constant fatigue. A diet that’s saturated with fatty foods, high sugar foods, and carbohydrates wreaks havoc with glucose levels, which when out of balance can create extreme fatigue.

Mood swings are also a common issue that arises with long-term overeating. Part of this is related to glucose levels, but it is also related to the stress/grief/shame/guilt cycle that overeating can produce.

Binge eating is a common form of overeating. Binge eating is consuming a lot of food, not because the person is hungry, but simply because it’s there and they want to eat it all. Binge eating is very unhealthy because it can lead, because of the guilt/shame emotions, to eating disorders like bulimia.

Emotional overeating usually begins with a trigger. To get a handle on it and break the cycle, the person has to know what their trigger(s) are. Since grief is complex, it’s wise to consider counseling (it doesn’t have to be specifically grief counseling) to help understand the emotional overeating triggers (identify them) and come up with effective and healthy ways to manage those.

If you’d like information about grief resources after cremations in Waverly, NY, talk with our knowledgeable and compassionate team at Roberts Funeral Home for guidance. You can visit our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.

Owego, NY funeral homes

How to Support Teens as They Grieve

Before and after funerals at Owego, NY funeral homes, teens who have experienced loss, whether it’s the death of a friend or the death of a loved one, will need a lot of support as they move through the grieving process. In part, this is because adolescence is full of hormonal fluctuations, the competing crossroads of being dependent and independent, and the juxtaposition between knowledge and experience.

It is more unlikely that teens will openly express their grief, unlike small children who, while not being able to always verbalize their feelings, will certainly act them out in quite open ways. Teens can typically be more moody than not just because of their stage of life, so it may be difficult to tell what the source of their moodiness is on any given day.

However, as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, coaches, and clergy (if applicable), we as the adults in their lives need to be in touch, observant, and actively supportive of our teens as they maneuver through grief.

Loss and grief in teens creates a gulf between them and their peers at a time in their lives where fitting in is paramount. Therefore, teens need a comprehensive network of support to help them bridge that gulf and to keep them grounded and growing (as well as protected from bullying, which is common throughout life by some people who look for what they perceive as weakness in others and then harass, harangue, and torment them either verbally or physically or both) toward adulthood.

One way to provide support for teens as they grieve is to get outside therapeutic help. If the adults in the teens’ immediate families are having difficulty handling their own grief, this may create more anxiety and a misplaced sense of responsibility in grieving teens, which can overwhelm them with stress. Seeking grief counseling for everyone is highly recommended.

All the adults in the lives of teens who are grieving need to pull together and work together to offer support networks. Grieving teens need to know who is there for them, since they may not want to talk with their parents, but they may have aunts, uncles, coaches, or teachers that they feel more comfortable talking to about what they’re experiencing.

An important aspect of supporting grieving teens is simply listening when they do want to talk. There may be intense anger or sobbing sorrow as they talk, but the words they say are what we should focus on because they will tell us what the real issues are that teens are dealing with in relationship to the death of a friend or a loved one. Don’t interrupt. Take notes about important areas they touch on, because they’re still children in many ways and they will often make, because they don’t know any different, wrong assumptions and wrong connections about death and loss. We have an opportunity to address those things and correct what they don’t know or understand, which can actually lead to greater peace and faster healing for them.

To get more information about grief resources for teens at Owego, NY funeral homes, our sympathetic and experienced staff at Roberts Funeral Home is available to help. You can come to our funeral home at 279 Main St., Wellsburg, NY 14894, or you can contact us today at (607) 734-7811.